I've Gotta Start Somewhere...

1 Corinthians 10:23

""All things are lawful," but not all things are helpful. "All things are lawful," but not all things build up."

At the beginning of this pregnancy, when I was surviving my morning sickness, I got all of us into some really bad habits--specifically, the boys.

The biggest one of all, was TV watching.

We actually have chosen not to have TV stations in our home, but we do have DVD's...and we were watching A LOT of DVD's.  Almost every morning that's how our days started...then every afternoon...and again after naps until Our Hero got home. 

I was too sick to handle too much activity, so DVD's just seemed to always be the answer...

To ward off too much guilt, I tried to always balance the entertaining DVD's with the educational DVD's!!  And it worked at the time...I was able to rest and the boys weren't getting into too much trouble!

But once the morning sickness starting waring off, I began to notice some behaviors in my boys that I did not like.

Ryan and I were so surprised by some new "innocent", on-the-line phrases they had picked up along with some rough behavior and a little attitude that wasn't there before.

It didn't take us long to realize it was all stuff they picked up on from their DVD's...sadly, even kids Christian movies display bad attitudes and actions!

We knew we had to put an end to their new, developing alter-personalities ASAP, but I just didn't know where to start.  It seemed like they all needed such huge attitude makeovers and with three little guys, the task seemed a bit daunting!

But one day I just decided "I've gotta start somewhere!" So I packed up all the DVD's and put them in a box in our attic.

It's now been 3 weeks since our "NO TV kick" and we are so glad for the decision we made!  

The boys are getting along better, they are using more creativity, they are enjoying being outside and we are loving just being together--not just physically being in the same room, but really interacting--reading, talking, baking, playing!

I don't know how long we'll keep up our fast (we love our Friday night "movie night") but for now it's accomplishing it's purpose.

We don't think all TV is bad or evil...or that DVD's are always harmful, but we were just discovering that the hours they were spending watching videos day after day was not beneficial to their souls.

Now I honestly have so much peace knowing that I am feeding their souls not just what is good but also what is beneficial!  And I can SEE the difference it has made in them!!!

To be very honest, the boys don't seem to miss it.  After the first week, they caught on and haven't asked to watch a DVD...But I AM the one that is still getting used to it!!!  Because it does make more work for me...TV has always been an easy crutch to fall on when I'm busy or trying to get something done, but I'm finding the reward of training them (instead of just entertaining them) is so worth it!!


When we do decide to start allowing it back in, I'm just curious how your family does it?


Do you have time limits on TV?  How often do your kids watch DVD's?  Do you notice a change in behavior after lots of TV viewing?  What is your rules on TV when they are at friends or grandparents houses?


I wanna hear from you...and even your thoughts if you don't have kids yet!

Loving My Children In the Spirit

Lately I've been convicted about how pron I am to love my children in the flesh--not in the Spirit.

Don't get me wrong, my fleshly love is abundant and rich, but it is also full of flaws and selfishness.

Since I've decided to go through the fruits of the Spirit with my kids this year...we are looking at LOVE this month.  I have personally been SO challenged by 1 Corinthians 13, as it takes on a whole new light as I apply it to my mothering.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When loving from the flesh, I often rejoice when my kids do things in my perfect timing and by my most ideal standards.  But when they fall short of this,  Patience is greatly lacking.

I'm also loving them in the flesh when I flaunt their academic successes because it makes me look better to those watching from the outside.  It is not true, Spirit-filled love when  Pride and Boastfulness motivate me to brag on their accomplishments.

I love them in the flesh when I look with Envy upon what other moms are doing and attempt to replicate that in my home not for their well-being, but just in hopes that I will be a "better mom" like so-and-so.  

I am often Easily Angered and Rude when I have an agenda and my kids slow me down.  I usually scold them saying how "momma loves you, but..." and then gripe about how long they are taking and how late this is going to make momma.  But Spirit-filled love is always Kind.

I am loving them in the flesh when I want to get away from it all and use the excuse that "I need a break so I can be a better mommy".  Love is never Self-Seeking.

Loving them in the flesh happens when I am trying to teach them a lesson, and though I have forgiven a wrong of theirs, I bring it up by saying "You always..." because Spirit-filled love Keeps No Record Of Wrongs.

Because I know that Christ-like love does Not Delight in Evil, when they do something "cute" yet sinful (like the first dramatic display of passion~ also known as a tantrum), I am loving them in the flesh when I giggle or simply do not address it.

Or when I let them be entertained by worldly things that blatantly contradict the Truth found in scripture, I am not loving them in the Spirit because love Rejoices with the Truth.

Thankfully, when it comes to loving my children in the Spirit, the rest does come a little more naturally to me although there is some fleshly, "momma bear" tendencies that tend to take over from time to time...

"Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails."

(1 Corinthians 13)

Lord, help me to love these kids, YOUR kids, 

in the Spirit...not in my weak, self-centered flesh because by your Spirit, I am a better momma and a better steward.

Let the Little Children Come To Me...

"We were holding back our son's child-like faith, because of our adult-like doubt"

Just over a year ago, our oldest son asked Jesus into his life to be Lord of all. 

It was such an exciting day!  We rejoiced at this new work the Lord was doing in our son's heart and we knew that this was just the beginning of our son growing in knowledge and understanding of sanctification and justification.

At that time we talked to him about the importance of baptism once you make that commitment because baptism is a way to say to the Lord, the enemy and the church that, "I belong to Jesus!  He is my Lord and Savior!"

However, to be honest, Ryan and I's desire was that Trusten wait until he was older and had a fuller understanding of the cross and the gospel (even baptism) before he took that next step.

Well, this week at our church, there was to be a baptism service and Trusten caught wind of it.

One night during family worship he said, "maybe I should be baptized".

We said something along the lines of "sure, someday buddy, when you're a little older..."

But over the next few days he just wouldn't let it go. He wanted to be baptized.  He knew it was the next step of obeidence and he wanted to obey.

Ryan and I were hesitant, but then the Lord spoke to both of us the night of the service and said, "Permit the children to come to Me; do not hinder them; for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these." (Mark 10:14).We realized we were holding back our son's child-like faith because of our adult-like doubt.

So that very night, Wednesday, August 4th, Trusten was baptized with water and took a step of faith into being a disciple of the Lord Jesus!

Getting ready to be "dunked", Ryan said, "I baptize you, my son and my brother, in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit"

Right after he came out of the water he said, "I DID IT!"

He knew he had been obedient to the Lord's calling!

There is no explaining the sheer joy Trusten had after service...

It wasn't hyperness, it wasn't a sugar-rush, it was the work of the Spirit!

Thankful for our Trusten...and that in the end, we didn't get in the way of his response to the Lord's call to come to Him and be baptized.

We fell asleep that night asking ourselves,

"Why is it that we tell adults all the time to have child-like faith, but when a child has child-like faith, we try to 'reason' them out of it?"

This post is linked to Wednesday's Walk at my friend, Jenilee's blog!

The Conference (Vacation Part 3)

If you haven't heard of Answers In Genesis, it's an amazing ministry devoted to proving creation and "reclaiming the foundations of our faith which are found in the Bible, from the very first verse".

Two years ago we (my sister Sarah's family and our family) went to our first "AIG" conference in Branson Missouri...Vision Forum was there along with Voddie Baucham.  It was a powerful week!

This year, many of the same families were back and it was so good to see so many familiar faces and catch up with a few friends that Sarah and I had made 2 years ago...

I even got to meet a "MOMYS" from my "QuiverFull" on-line group!  I've now met 5 MOMYS in real life, and it's always a special treat!

Including catching up with old friends, seeing how our families have grown, hearing the Word procliamed so boldy and sitting under some amazing teaching...it was a great conference!  We were encouraged, spurred on, reminded, blessed and challanged.

I love how you can go to a conference like this one, on "Defending the Faith" and get so much more out of it than just your "normal every-day preaching".  We left there even more grounded in our beliefs of homeschooling, freshly encouraged to trust God for our family size and burdened to pray even more for our nation and reach out to our lost neighbors!

Overall, with our family usually being the "odd men out" on homeschooling and desiring a big family, it was just SO good to see and hear that we're NOT alone and to be taught from the Bible on those issues!

We took our kids to the conference (everyone did--it was a family conference after all) and although the first day was a little rough (after such a looong car-ride they were restless!), they got used to it and by the second day, they were doing great and were excellent the rest of the week!

Brahm and Liberty proud of their new name tags!

We packed backpacks for each of them filled with books, a Bible, coloring books, pens, paper, matchbox cars and fruit snacks!  That kept them busy :)

Unloading the vans at the conference and getting ready to go in...

(See in the second pic how the sliding door to our van is open?  Yep...it stayed that way the whole night-we didn't know until we came back out to our vans!  Yikes! But praise the Lord nothing was stolen!)

During the sessions, it helped my children to observe the behavior of other kids their age.  There were several Amish families there and those kids are so sweet!  They sat so properly just listening the whole time with an occasional song or giggle escaping from pure joy.  Their parents would sweetly pat their leg with a smile and I heard one Amish mother say, "There is a time for everything...we'll run outside after a bit".

The Langhofer crew

(We sat in the VERY back every time...we weren't brave enough to sit in the front with all the kiddos!)

Our crew waiting to hear Voddie speak...

The first night we heard both a "State Of The Church" and "State of the Nation" sermon by Ken Ham. 

Other than that, we didn't try to make it to every session, every day...instead, we just went to hear Voddie!!!

He did his usual thing...talked about Biblical womanhood, manhood, the responsibilities of fathers in the home, the call to wives, legacy...  And he also talked about why Christians should be having more babies, about adoption, about homeschooling, etc.

Then there was Tuesday!  Tuesday was a day filled with sessions just for women.  Biblical womanhood, godly parenting, building a "one flesh" marriage...so my sister and I spent most of the day together!  We had such wonderful, uplifting coversations and just enjoyed our quiet time together!  I love my sisters--they are my best friends and role models FOR SURE! (along with my momma of course!)

Sarah and I getting ready to leave for our first "women only" session

(She's 4 years older than me, but I'm about 4 inches taller!)

My niece (and my name-sake) Isabelle Grace came with Sarah and I for the night session.

Favorite quotes from the conference:
"Once you question Genesis-and the earth being created in 6 literal days-you open up doors for ALL the Holy Scriptures to be questioned.  Genesis is our beginning...and it is literal."

"In Genesis 3:15 we read that as a result of  'the fall' there is now an enmity between woman and serpent, her offspring and his...he wants women to dread their body changing with pregnancy, he wants to scare them with the dreaded pain of childbirth...he doesn't want you to have any more babies.
Satan hates women...especially Christian women.  He hates them because of the enmity and because they bring about children that will one day praise and serve the Lord Almighty."

(Talking of careers and laziness among American boys) "Instead of teaching young men to 'find something they love and do it', teach them to 'find something to do and love it'...it's not about us!"

"The ONLY hope for victory for our nation is NOT in legislation, clever bumper stickers, letters to congressmen, it is in our Promised Redeemer-Christ our Savior."

"Abortion isn't just about life, it's about feminism."
"Today men are defined by 1-the ball field, 2-the bill fold, 3-the bedroom, and that's what our little girls are taught to desire in a partner."

"Reading self-help books is like football players taking instruction from cheerleaders.  You may feel pepped up, but for real, solid instruction, they need to listen the coach.  For us as Christians, our coach has left us a playbook...the Holy Bible.  It's all we need."

"Genesis 3:15-the two things that should bring us the most pleasure, were made to be the heaviest burdens of womanhood.  But loathe these things, instead seek the pleasure in childbirth and having our husband as our head and you will be BLESSED."

"Parents say their kids walk away from the Lord in college, but 87% of children have their first doubts about God when they are in Middle School, so we see they lost them long before college--they just didn't know it because they were already away at school."

"Your children are watching you, how you dress, what you say, even mannerisms...so live up the holiness God called us to--they are His kids after all.  Ask what He wants modeled for them?"

"When Adam and Eve sinned, they covered their private parts, but when God found them, he gave them a more sufficient covering made from animal skin.  Sisters, covering your private parts isn't enough for the Lord...he wants you clothed in righteousness, holiness and therefore, in modesty."

First blog post: The Beginning of Our Vacation...Part 1
Second blog post: Life at the Cabin: 14 people Living Together For a Week (Part 2)
Next blog post: Out and About in the City ~A CRAZY, Busy, Fun day!
Then: A Breath-taking Smokey Mountain Hike
Then: The Creation Museum
And finally: The Saddest Day--Heading Home (and another hotel adventure!)

Why We Homeschool...

(Well, you all did it!!!  After my last post, your comments and e-mails brought on a burning desire to share with you our heart on homeschooling...so here ya go!)

"Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching." Proverbs 1:8

It doesn't make sense for us to homeschool--it just doesn't.  Primarily because my husband is the administrator at our small Christian School here in our town.  But there are other reasons too--most of our friends send their kids there, the teachers are amazing and very good friends of mine, it's less than a mile from our home, we would get a significant discount...etc.

Yet we choose to homeschool...why?

Well, I plan to *attempt* to answer that in this post...

First of all, let me just say that we did not come by this decision lightly.  We have toiled over this decision...honestly toiled.  At one point this year, we were all set to send our oldest son to CCA (our Christian school) come Fall.  But there was an unsettling feeling we couldn't kick.

We believe there are wrong reasons to homeschool, just as their are wrong reasons to choose private schooling...and we needed to find out where our hearts were...

My husband dedicated an entire day to fasting and prayer in regards to this decision.  The end result was the Lord telling him...

"raise them for my glory"

To which my husband asked, "So what does that mean, CCA or homeschool?"

and the Lord answered "YOU raise them for my glory"

Afterall, it's our job to raise them, right?  It's not the job of paid staff (no matter how wonderful they may be)

...Because I am the Lord's choice for my children.  I am their steward. 

"A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher." 
Luke 6:40

When it comes down to it, I don't feel a peace about passing my responsibility off to another.  Sure, it's tempting at times...a whole day to myself, not fretting over whether or not they are learning all they "should" learn, knowing they are learning how to be polictically correct in their social skills (oh wait, that's actually something I DO NOT care about!)...but

~the opportunity I have to homeschool is not worth the sacrifice 

of sending their hearts off to another.

I do not feel like I can diligently (as scripture says) carry out some Biblical commands regarding my children without homeschooling them(for example Deuteronomy 6:5-7).

So, in essence, we homeschool because someday my husband and I will be accountable for the lives of our children.  How we trained them, raised them, led them, discipled them, taught them...I don't want to stand before the Lord and say, "we sent them somewhere else for most of that".

Because we know that more happens, in a 7.5 hour school day, than just education by the books.  They are sponges to their environments.  It's our job as parents (and stewards) to decide what is acceptable in that environment...

They are temples, they were bought at a price...so even though they may turn out to be "good kids" no matter what school we choose, we still need to keep a careful watch on what they hear, see, do.  That isn't being "controlling", that is our JOB, our role that the Lord has entrusted us with.

"My education was interrupted only by my schooling"
-Winston Churchill

If we were to send them to school, we would be entrusting 16,000 hours of their young, impressionable life to someone else.  In their youth, they would spend more awake time at school, around acquaintances than with their family.  In that time, they will be shaped and molded by not just teachers, but even-more-so by their peers.  

Sure, if they go to school, I can complain that so-and-so should not sit by my son...or ask that the teacher not talk to my son about this or that, or even throw a fit when another student describes something in detail to my son that will change the course of his life forever...

Or I could just homeschool them and know what they are hearing, seeing, doing.

My husband and I know first hand that a Christian school is not always a safe place for children...even for the littlest, purest of hearts.

I want to be clear though, that we don't homeschool out of fear.  That's not our drive at all.  We homeschool out of conviction and freedom.  Not fear, not legalism (I'll write about that one soon!).

Yes, I know there are other avenues in which they can be exposed to some dreaded things...not to mention bad attitudes and poor examples.  It may just be inevitable, but in the arena of school (the biggest arena for these influences), this is one less (huge) situation I have to throw them into not knowing what they will be exposed to.

Plus, it's simply just my joy and pleasure to teach my kids from our home.  Yes, there are stressful days.  No, I don't always feel capable.  But thankfully, the Lord is my strength and His mercies are new every morning!

What's more, is that I want my kids to know that I love being with them...that we were entrusted by God to be their stewards and we delight in that duty and don't take it lightly.

So there you have it!  That's why WE homeschool.  Maybe it's not right for everybody...in fact, it might not always be right for us...but right now it's what the Lord wills, so we happily follow the sweet, shepherds voice!

Oh, and did I mention I was homeschooled?!

"If you're so worried about socialization just do the following:
In the morning before school, pull your kids hair and make fun of their socks.

At lunch time, steal their milk money and tell them you don't want to sit by them (you have a friend you like better who you're saving that seat for).

After school, offer them drugs and call them a "momma's boy"...

and voila...your kid has been properly socialized for the day!"

~A quote from a "been there done that" MOMYS

So I haven't covered everything on why we homeschool and our thoughts/feelings on the entire subject (and someday I might add more of my other thoughts) but for now, I'll just add this last thing...

Why don't I think you're wrong for not homeschooling?  Well, first, I'm not going to stand accountable for your decisions, so I just don't go there.  But also, it's not for everyone.  There are families that because of unavoidable circumstances can not homeschool.  For others, they simply don't feel convicted to homeschool and the Lord has led their family in a different direction...thankfully, we're not called to be "cookie cutter Christians"!

10 Things To Do With Little Ones Suffering From "Cabin Fever"

I love rainy days.  Actually, I should say I love A rainy day (as in: singular, occasional).  It's fun to stay in jammies, cuddle up and watch movies all afternoon...but when the second day of rain comes...my boys are itchin' to MOVE, JUMP, TUMBLE and WRESTLE!  Or as Trusten says, "boy, I need to get my energy out!"

So here's a list of my Top 10 things we like to do on rainy days...(keep in mind, I have BOYS!)

1) "Ice" SKATE!  

About a year ago, my kiddos came up with this nifty activity!  Divy out 2 ice cube trays per child, turn them over, stand on 'em and skate away!  It's wears them out nice and quick...er, um, I mean, it's good exercise!

2) Build a FORT!
My boys love building forts!  What boy doesn't?
Grab all the blankets, pillows and linens in the house.  Find some clothes pins (or something to secure the sheets) and go for it! Challenge them to see how tall, wide, colorful they can make it!

Or just bring the traditional camping inside and put up your real tent!

3) READ a book and ACT it out! 
My boys usually choose "Going On A Bear Hunt" when we play this game!  They love to "play" what they just read!  And it's a good memory practice too!

4) Splish, splash, let 'em take a BATH! 
Birthday suits?
Swim trunks?
Whatever works! 
This can be great fun for the kiddos! 
(Just don't forget to put some towels down and steer clear of their "splash zone"!)

5) Little BLIND mice!  

My oldest son loves this game...probably because he's bossy a natural born leader!  We make an obstacle course in the living room, one boy gets blind-folded and the other brothers talk him through it!

6) Let them play CHEF! 
Encourage their creativity by putting a variety of food items out on the counter and let them create a new dish or snack!  It's so fun to see what they come up with...

and what they are daring enough to eat!!!

7)  Be a BLESSING!
Make cards, pictures, cookies, or crafts for friends, neighbors, family, a nursing home, etc!  A great way to spend a rainy day and to teach your kiddos kindness and compassion!

8) WATER play!
Fill up the sink with water...
Lay down some towels...
Give 'em stools to stand on...
Let them pick out bowls, spoons and cups to play with...
Don't forget the medicine droppers to squirt with...

Keeps 'em entertained for hours!

9)  DANCE Party! 

We like to turn on a worship CD (usually and dance our hearts out!  It's fun getting silly with them and letting them see you cut loose!

10) LEGO race!
My boys love Legos!  They will play for hours!

But sometimes, they need some direction so they'll stick with it.  So, I give everyone a specific thing (truck, airplane, space ship) and set the timer to 20-30 minutes and say "GO!" and they have to build their structure within that time. 

Once the timer goes off, we move on to something else...and when Daddy gets home we get to show him our projects!

This post is linked to "Top Ten {Tuesday}" on OhAmanda.com

And to "Works For Me Wednesday" at WeAreThatFamily.com

How We Used To Do Chores--Chore Cards

I've been cleaning out my "school" area and found my kids' old chore cards!  Most of these ended up lost or chewed up, but I found a precious few still in tact and thought I'd share them with you!

When Trusten was 4, Brahm was 2.5, and Samuel was 9 months, I became pregnant with Liberty and had awful morning sickness.  Unlike my past pregnancies, it was just in the mornings, so I knew if I could get to noon, I'd be good to go!

So, in order to survive mornings, I came up with these picture chore cards to help my kiddos know what they were to do while mommy was laid out on the couch!

Trusten and Brahm each had their own envelopes for their morning responsibilities that I kept in the desk drawer.  When they woke up, I'd fix them breakfast (that was about all I could manage!) and then they'd head to the desk drawer for their cards.

These cards gave them some direction for their mornings and because of their ages, my expectations were really low, it was just the fact that they were trying and learning a routine! 

The last "chore" was quiet time with me in the living room.  And we loved this SO much, we still do it!  After all the morning tasks are checked off our chore board (for my new method, see HERE), we'd have quiet Bible time.

I'll write more about that in a future post!

Have a GREAT weekend, friends!

The Benefit of Chores

I remember the first time I heard about 2 and 3 year olds having chores...and I thought "What?!"  I didn't get it.  I wondered how any mom could be so hard-pressed for help, that she'd enlist her 2 year old in helping around the house?

I mean, sure, telling them to pick up their toys after playing with them or having them throw their dirty diaper in the trash...but household chores?...why make them work when they are so little?  Isn't that kinda cruel?

But then I realized I was thinking about it all wrong. AND I started to give my kids a little more credit.  So, I started to make suggestions and then I watched them as they thrived.

Our oldest son Trusten (here 3 years old)

"helping" his daddy with the bathroom remodel...

In our house, it started when Trusten was just about 2 and a half.  He had always followed me into the laundry room...so one day I suggested...

"How about you stand on that stool and throw all these clothes into the washer?"

"Sure momma!"

"Okay!  I'll be inside."

Shortly, with a huge grin and puffed out chest, he came in smiling and saying "All done!  Come see!"

It wasn't until then that I discovered, he loved helping!  He loved accomplishing something on his own!  He loved hearing his momma say "Good job buddy, that really blesses me!"

I have since realized that having my 1, 2 and 3 year olds help with chores is their privilege.  It's not for me--after all, I could probably get it all done in HALF the time they do!  But the fact that they are "lessing my load" isn't the point. The point is that they are able to *work* at something, *finish* their task and feel the *joy* of being a blessing.

Adam was created to work...and so were my children..and especially my boys.  Remember that it was before Adam's fall into sin that, "the LORD God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it." (Genesis 2:15)

So I'm trying to teach my boys even at a young age that their days aren't all about playing and doing what they want to do.  There are certain "expectations" I have for them.

But you know what the beauty of all this is?  They don't know chores are "bad" like us adults do!  Little boys love their chores!  They think it's one of the funnest parts of the day!  And in their "down time" they still often come and ask me, "can I have a chore to do?"

Which is really them asking, can you trust me with a "big person" job because I want to help you and feel good about my hard work?

To which I say, "Yes, that would bless me very much!"

Now don't let me fool you, there are days when my boys (especially as they get older) get tired of doing the same thing every day, but we try to always encourage that they still complete their chores with a joyful heart.

And those times are always the perfect opportunity to remind them...
"Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve." (Colossians 3:23, 24)

See HERE for how I delegate and manage my kids chores!

The Lights In The House Go Off And On, Off And On, Off And On...

But it's not the kids fault! So whose fault is it?

Mine. Yep, that's right, it's my fault.

However, there IS a method to this madness! It's a little cleaning tip that I've always used in my house.

To start off though, one thing you gotta know about me is that I struggle with not obsessing over the cleanliness of my house. So I have to be careful how much time and attention I devote to cleaning and picking up.

But that's why a "10 minutes tidy" works great around here for me and the kids! Our twist to the 10 minute tidy is turning the lights on in every room...

Because the only thing I loathe more than a messy room, is a light left on in an empty room!

Here's how it goes...

All the lights in the house go on. Once the room has been picked up (and/or cleaned) after 10 minutes of being at it, the light goes off and we move to another room in the house. And the light STAYS off.

Here's an example: In the mornings, the boys know that they turn off their bedroom light once their beds are made and their clothes are off the floor.  Then and only then, do they turn off their light.  Even if they chose to eat breakfast first, they know their bedroom light needs to be turned out quickly afterwards...but still, they know what a turned out light means...and I'll be checking with them to make sure 1)beds are made 2)clothes are in the hamper.


What helps me with the whole "Light On, Light Off" thing, is if I start to get overwhelmed by the messiness of the current room we're playing in, I can look around, see all the lights off in other rooms and know all is clean (or at least a few rooms are clean)...with the exception our one current room we're in.

Plus, I know at our next 10 minute tidy, which rooms need attention!

The other side of this is, if I sit down at the computer to waste time blog, e-mail or surf, but I see a light on, I know that I should probably give that room a little love before I settle in to computer time!

It works for me!!!  And helps me not to be distracted by messes in other rooms...because sooner or later it will get a 10 minute tidy...if the light is on!  :)


This post is also linked to Real Clean Wednesday.

Why Am I Looking At This?

Style. 

Spelling.

Addition.

Athletics.

Popularity.

Socialization.

I keep getting distracted by these things in my children's lives.

I keep being tricked into thinking that what I see about my children, is what matters.

I keep being deceived that my kids should be at a certain stage in life because of what others say...or just because of what I see other kids doing.

But what does it matter...Really?  What if Samuel can't ever dribble a basketball?  What if Brahm never learns that head-to-toe camo isn't "cool"?  What if Trusten doesn't learn to spell until he's 10?  What does it matter?

Sure, the "experts" say...

Sure, my pride may get hurt at times...

But what I want to know is what does God say?

1 Samuel 16:7 

"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

I'm convicted today that I need to do the same.

Teaching Them To Be Doers Of The Word, Not Mere Hearers

James 1:22-25

"But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing."

"A doer who acts..."

This is something we are always trying to do with our boys.  Well, actually, lately we've been slacking on this, but we're seeing how we need to get back in the habit of teaching this way.

When we correct them, instead of just telling them what they should have done, we try to always make them do it over the right way so they know what to do next time because they have practiced it.

This is one of the most effective discipline tools that we use.  But, it's also one of the hardest because it means more work for us as parents.  (Which is probably why we've been slacking on it lately)

It's much easier to just say "next time, do xyz" than to actually walk them through what xyz looks like.  It's pretty tiring, especially when it's three children multiple times a day!

In the long run, though, we know it will save us a lot of heartache and hassle.  It may take more time now, but the lesson of acting upon what they hear will hopefully benefit them in years to come.

"Being no hearer who forgets..."

We used to find ourselves correcting our boys for the same things over and over.  Were they just not listening?  Were we not explaining it the right way?  No.  We made them look at us (insuring we had their attention) and made them repeat it to us (insuring they understood)...

They were simply forgetting because they would act out of instinct since they hadn't tried another way.

But once we started having them immediately act (literally) on our correction, we started to see big changes in their behavior. 

We give them a chance to...
***Hear how to do it right next time

***See how to do it right next time

***Practice how to do it right next time

This way, they have no doubt what was expected of them.

"He will be blessed in his doing"

The boys think this is great fun.  They call it "playing Do Over".

Once they re-play the wrong thing and replace it by doing the right thing, we always remind them that there is blessing is hearing and doing what the Word says.

We often tell our boys that even though it's sometimes hard to obey, there is great reward in doing so.  All three of our boys know by heart that scripture says their days will be long and it will go well with them if they obey us, as the Lord has commanded.  Thankfully, this is something the boys understand and desire!

And our prayer is that practice, will make perfect!

Matthew 5:48

"Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

Hmm...Now if Ryan and I could only start practicing this with our boys all the time, instead of just talking about it :)