"But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing."
"A doer who acts..."
This is something we are always trying to do with our boys. Well, actually, lately we've been slacking on this, but we're seeing how we need to get back in the habit of teaching this way.
When we correct them, instead of just telling them what they should have done, we try to always make them do it over the right way so they know what to do next time because they have practiced it.
This is one of the most effective discipline tools that we use. But, it's also one of the hardest because it means more work for us as parents. (Which is probably why we've been slacking on it lately)
It's much easier to just say "next time, do xyz" than to actually walk them through what xyz looks like. It's pretty tiring, especially when it's three children multiple times a day!
In the long run, though, we know it will save us a lot of heartache and hassle. It may take more time now, but the lesson of acting upon what they hear will hopefully benefit them in years to come.
"Being no hearer who forgets..."
We used to find ourselves correcting our boys for the same things over and over. Were they just not listening? Were we not explaining it the right way? No. We made them look at us (insuring we had their attention) and made them repeat it to us (insuring they understood)...
They were simply forgetting because they would act out of instinct since they hadn't tried another way.
But once we started having them immediately act (literally) on our correction, we started to see big changes in their behavior.
We give them a chance to...
***Hear how to do it right next time
***Hear how to do it right next time
***See how to do it right next time
***Practice how to do it right next time
This way, they have no doubt what was expected of them.
"He will be blessed in his doing"
The boys think this is great fun. They call it "playing Do Over".
Once they re-play the wrong thing and replace it by doing the right thing, we always remind them that there is blessing is hearing and doing what the Word says.
We often tell our boys that even though it's sometimes hard to obey, there is great reward in doing so. All three of our boys know by heart that scripture says their days will be long and it will go well with them if they obey us, as the Lord has commanded. Thankfully, this is something the boys understand and desire!
And our prayer is that practice, will make perfect!
Matthew 5:48
"Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."
Hmm...Now if Ryan and I could only start practicing this with our boys all the time, instead of just talking about it :)
2 comments:
I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! = )
I have become woefully lax on discipline with my fourth and fifth child now 5 and 2. Thank you for sharing the Lord's word in context of training up your child. WONDERFUL POST, my friend!
Cheryl
This is a great idea. We are always saying "next time do this..." It does take much effort to do the right thing, but I know it will reap great rewards, like you said. Thanks for visiting my blog- we will stay in touch now! :)
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