Not only am I struggling with morning sickness and fatigue, I'm also struggling to figure out how homeschooling looks for our family.
Just about every other day this week, I've been doubting our decision to homeschool. I constantly feel like I am seconds away from vomiting, which makes teaching and reading pretty challenging...this means I'm usually either rushing through or skipping over stuff.
The doubts come from fear. I know those aren't from the Lord...He has made clear to us His desire for us is schooling at home...even though someday that may change.
But I think my biggest struggle right now is just figuring out our homeschooling style...and not having the energy I need to apply some creativity to figure it out!
In a lot of ways, I think the whole whopping year I was an "education major" at my Christian college did me more harm than good. Even though my college education was Christian-based, there was NO shortage of worldly indoctrination about "why kids learn so well and thrive in a classroom".
I know that's not true...I do~ESPECIALLY with boys.
Still, I let their indoctrination seep into my thinking and now I can't let go of the guilty feelings that my kids need to be sitting still at a desk, learning from "the books" and having a classroom setting replicated in my home.
But I am NOT homeschooling to create a classroom atmosphere at home! I am homeschooling so that each of my kids can thrive in their own, unique, God-given learning styles where they are NOT hindered, held back or confined by a classroom.
Trusten and I doing school on the front porch late in the evening...
Talk about "unconventional"!
I've been loving reading these two posts lately (and looking forward for the other ones to come)...they really inspire and comfort me...
So why can't I let go of this "picture" I had of a traditional school setting in my home???
Why can't I stop thinking their learning has to be from 9am-noon???
Why am I trying SO hard to fit a mold that simply does NOT fit our family???
I am learning...
I am growing...
I am opening my mind to the Lord's plan for our homeschooling...
I am falling freshly on the homeschool vision that the Lord gave us at the beginning of this year, and crying out for more understanding!
I am trying to let go of my ideas and indoctrination of what "education" should look like...and I am excited to find out what the result looks like for our family!
Proverbs has so much wisdom for me...I think I'll start there!
And then maybe re-read this, and this.
And before it's all said and done, I'll just trust His path and find rest in the this Truth...
"All your children shall be taught by the Lord,
And great shall be the peace of your children."