My Life Is A Pilgrimage--A Thanksgiving Moment

Sometimes life is a challenge.  

Whether it's homeschooling, managing a house full of little ones, or pushing through morning sickness, there are just seasons that are more trying than others.

Today has been one of those trying days.  It's a Monday.  It's the day after a long break.  And it's a day I want to crawl back into bed and magically wake up with happy, routine-following, eager-to-learn kiddos.

But I know it's never that easy.  First comes some self-denial and discipline on my own part...and a cry out to God for help in the form of fresh perspective.

Well, the Lord faithfully brought me some perspective this morning!...and I wanted to share it with you all!

Recently I read an article in a homeschooling magazine about the legacy of Thanksgiving Day and as I reflected on it this afternoon (stirring a pot of mac & cheese with much grumbling) the Lord broke through to me...

Remember the Pilgrims.  

The Pilgrims arrived in a new land totally unfamiliar to them.  In fact, there was nothing comfortable, easy or familiar about their experiences in this new world.  They faced many struggles and trials to say the least--many of them died in the process of settling in America...not to mention how they struggled with hunger, grief, fear and even probably doubt.

But aren't we thankful they persevered?!

They had no idea how their sacrifices would bless an entire nation.  

The Pilgrims couldn't see the future, but they trusted that all the hard work and heartache wasn't in vain.

And just look at where their steadfastness has brought us!  

Sometimes the season of sowing is long and exhausting.  Sometimes I feel like giving up when I don't see signs of the harvest.  Sometimes I need to remember the Pilgrims--their voyage, their endurance and even their God.

Because their God is my God too.

I may not see the fruit of all my labor right now, but I know that scripture is true and that my God is Faithful.

So in the trying seasons of this life, I'll hold onto hope, that as I obey, He is working.

And I'll continue in my pilgrimage of homeschooling knowing that the Lord has plans for all these little Pilgrims that He has entrusted me with...

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 

Jeremiah 29:11

I'm Being Called Away...

I am hearing Him call my name...

I have a feeling He has been calling me for a while, but this past weekend I finally quieted myself long enough to clearly hear His voice.

My Shepherds voice.

He's calling me to Himself--into a season of greater simplicity and deeper commitment.

So, with great anticipation and joy, I'm taking a blogging break.

I don't know for how long...and I know my long-distance friends and family will be sad about this, but I hope you can understand...

I consider it an honor to obey my God in such a simple way because He is worthy of so much more than just my hobbies and my habits...but my entire life.

Matthew 6:33

"But seek first the kingdom of God 
and his righteousness, 
and all these things will be added to you."

I'll probably try to update with "big event" pictures as time allows and will check up on all your blogs as time allows as well!

Blessings!!!

See you all soon!

Lessons I'm Learning As I Surrender...

Psalm 119:71

"It was good for me to be afflicted
       so that I might learn your decrees."

Mornings around here are busy. They are unpredictable. They are tiring.

A while back, I discovered that I'm definitely not a schedule person, I'm a routine person. And while the routine I have set up really does help our mornings run smoothly, there are always unknown factors that can disturb a perfectly scheduled morning.

--A potty-training toddler has an "accident", leaving quite a mess to clean up

--Momma has a headache and is running in slow motion

--The baby is teething and follows you around in a half scream/half cry all morning

--Someone dumps over the gallon of milk

--The sink is leaking

--Someone spills oatmeal all over another child's worksheets

--Someones tummy is hurting

and sometimes the hardest to deal with...

--Momma didn't get to have her quiet time with Jesus

The first thing I'm learning as I am freshly surrendering my days to the Lord, is that if I am truly surrendered, I'll be content even when events happen that are out of my control.

If I am surrendered, I know that whatever happens in my day is for a purpose--

If I wake early to have my quiet time, but the rest of the house decides to wake up too, the Lord must have known that I could creatively get time with Him another way that day.

If I didn't get my timing down right and missed my morning shower, the Lord must have known I'd still get by without that coveted shower.

If...If...If...lately seems more like "when...when...when" but I've become okay with that because I'm surrendered to HIS plan, not mine.

He is the Author of my day and it won't do much good to pine after how I wanted the day to go, when obviously it's not going to look the way I had hoped.

Over the years, I have become SURE with many things about my Lord...a couple of those things are~~

He is purposeful.

He is in control.

He is always working on me.

It's because of those reasons I can be assured that surrendering my day to Him means trusting Him that He knows my needs even better than me.  AND that He will supply all my needs, BUT that he loves me enough to sometimes not let everything happen the way I plan and hope.  

Because thankfully, He knows better than to always let me get my way...He has too many lessons to teach me to that happen!!!

Psalm 119:71

"It was good for me to be afflicted
       so that I might learn your decrees."

(Looking over last years routine, I'm realizing it's time to update that post...that'll be coming soon!)

Surrender

"I Surrender!"

I've been reading a lot of blogs lately that have been really inspiring to me--people seeing a need for change in their lives and how they are deciding to change the way they are living (diets, cleaning habits, routines, etc)

For me, it's been the "kick in the pants" that I've been needing...I have some changes I want to make in my every day life, but they aren't easy (well, I guess change never is easy!).  They are changes I've tried to commit to over and over, yet they usually are short-lived.

Even with the best intentions most of my commitments usually don't last long...

--I want to wake up early to prepare my heart for the day, pray and read the Word.
--I want to memorize more scripture and practice having a constant prayer life.
--I want to make good choices to eat healthy foods.
--I want to be more intentional with my neighbors.

But what I have been learning is that my commitments usually don't last long, because I am the one in control of seeing them through.

The ball is always in "my court" and so when I don't feel like doing something...well, I just don't do it.

My good intentions are usually pushed aside when I am feeling extra sleepy, super busy, lazy and selfish (which happens more often than I'd like to admit!).

This past Sunday our pastor talked about surrender...and I realized, THAT has been my missing link!!!

"COMMITMENT IS NORMALLY CONNECTED 

TO CIRCUMSTANCES AND UNDERSTANDING. 

SURRENDER IS CONNECTED TO LORDSHIP."

Surrendering my commitments to my Savior, giving HIM control of my "good intentions" and falling back on Him when I "just don't feel like it"...

So I've been trying this week anew--
--Surrendering my mornings to Him
--Surrendering my thought life to Him
--Surrendering my body and choices to Him
--Surrendering my free time to Him

So, if you've been finding yourself in the same hopeless cycle with your commitments as I have, whether it's food, devotions, church attendance, behavior or whatever, I'd encourage you to surrender it to the Lord.  Don't just make a commitment and then strive for it alone...It's so refreshing to follow through in His power and not rely on our own weak will power!

"Failure, frustration and disappointment are the legacy of commitment, because it is always about me and depends entirely on me to achieve some outcome. Surrender takes 'me' out of the equation. As I heard a person once say, 'When I began to follow Christ, I resigned as General Manager of My World.'"

 -From Absolute Surrender by Andrew Murray

Lord, this week is yours.  I surrender my mornings, my homeschooling and my parenting to you.  They are yours.  When I feel like taking the easy way out, I will carry through, but only by your strength.  I will work as unto You...not to please myself or my resolutions, not to check something off a list, not to pat myself on the back.  Instead, I'll do it to honor you...the Giver of my life and all that I have and do!  I am surrendered.

When My Baby Got Glasses

(Today I'm sharing a bitter-sweet memory, but also am throwing in a little PSA while I'm at it!)

When our oldest son Trusten turned 3, we took him to his first eye appointment...not because we thought anything was wrong, but because our state offers a free eye exam to kids ages 3-4.

So we went in, just thinking this was a fun little field trip (hence the camera)...I even remember thinking "this will make a good story for my blog"...but they never made my blog until now, because it became such a sensitive subject for me.

You see, the "fun" appointment ended with me in tears finding out that Trusten needed glasses immediately.  In fact, the doctor felt he needed them so quickly that the office paid to overnight them (once we finally got them ordered). 

But let's back up a bit...

Once the exam was over, I was shocked when the doctor came back in and almost congratulated me for bringing Trusten in when I did.  He said if we would have waited until the typical time for a first eye exam (6-7 years) he most likely would have already been going blind in one eye.

The doctor then put lenses up to my eye to show me how my little man had been seeing for those first 3 years of his life.  I broke down right there...I had no idea!

But what was more devastating to me, was that TRUSTEN had no idea.  He didn't know any different than what his eyes saw.  Blurry and dark was just what he thought the world looked like.  He didn't know to tell us something was wrong...

We found out Trusten had a type of accomodative estropia yet because it was so slight (which is actually the worse, because it's so severe but harder to see with the naked eye) that we never noticed it.

I came home feeling waves of guilt, sadness, empathy, anger and worry.

I called my mom and one of my sisters and just bawled...

I can't explain it, but it felt like my world just kinda stopped right then and there.  I think some of the extremity of it all, was that I went into the appointment thinking it was just a fun check off of a list, but then to find out that my child's sight might have been changed forever had I not taken him in was almost too much for me!

It was just so unexpected!  And then having the doctor SHOW me what my son had been seeing his whole life was truly heart-breaking!

Trusten with his brand new eyes!

I still have a lot of hurt I carry from some specific comments about how hard I was taking the whole situation and didn't I realize it wasn't "the end of the world"...that a lot of kids are in much worse situations...

So please, don't get me wrong...I know I am blessed that my son doesn't have a chronic disease.  I know I am blessed that this doesn't change his life span.  I know all that...

But at the same time I feel like my world did change a bit that day.

It almost feels like in those few short minutes in the exam room, I went from the naive, happy-go-lucky, "my kids are invincible" momma to a more cautious, more aware, more knowledgeable momma that doesn't take things for granted any more.

I am forever thankful the Lord laid it on my heart to take Trusten in for what seemed to be just a routine exam.

I am forever thankful that the Lord really does love my little man even more than I do (though it's so hard to believe sometimes!)

And I'm forever thankful that the Lord knows my kids better than me...He is their Creator after all and nothing takes him by surprise...even when I am taken by surprise!

Yesterday Trusten got his newest pair of glasses...they are his strongest prescription yet (every 6 months they've been increasing his prescription so as to let his eyes accommodate to the power of them, because putting him straight into his correct prescription right away would have done more harm).

So while I'm so thankful that there is an answer to his diagnosis, I must admit...

I miss his naked eyes.  I type that sentence in tears.  

I miss seeing his sweet brown eyes...not hiding, not magnified, not disguised, but just his God-given, naked eyes. 

But, he's still such a handsome little guy either way (even when he's been goofy for a picture!)

Oh so what about the PSA?  Here it is: Take your kids in for an eye appointment SOONER than later!

(((Sorry for the long post, but blessings to any of you who really read it all--it was an emotional post for me!)))

AND DON'T FORGET TO SIGN UP FOR MY $35 GIFTCARD GIVEAWAY!!!

This post is linked to...Wednesday Walk Down Memory Lane at my friend Jenilee's blog!  Be sure to visit her today and VOTE for her @ Top Mommy Blogs (she has a link over there!)

...and Pour Your Heart Out (a new meme I just found!)

Fruit of the Spirit: LOVE

As September comes to end, we're wrapping up our focus on "Love" as the first fruit of the Spirit.

We have memorized the 9 fruits of the spirit using this song I learned as a little girl...

So while we'll continue singing this song, we'll be moving onto learning about JOY in the Spirit for October!

Here is a list of what we have memorized and focused on with "Love"...

--Hymn: "My Jesus I Love Thee"

--Hymn: "Jesus Loves Even Me"

--John 3:16

--1 John 4:19-22

--1 Corinthians 13:1-8 (below is Trusten saying it in rhyme)

I have noticed a huge difference in my boys since we have been focusing on this fruit.  Sure, they still need daily (sometimes hourly) reminders, but they are quickly learning that with each decision, it either grows a good fruit in us or a bad fruit in us (they called them "poison berries")!

I again, am so thankful that the Lord led me to focus on these fruits of the Spirit with the boys this year!  I am convinced I'm learning just as much as they are!

And now as I prepare us to learn more about "joy" and apply it to our days, it is so neat to see how it so easily flows out of "love"!

Where He Leads, I Will Follow

After my last post, I was SO encouraged by your many comments spurring me on and telling me I'm not alone!  Thank you so much for blessing me with all your wisdom and encouragements as I talked about my recent doubts in my ability to home-school while I battle morning sickness and as I figure out our homeschooling "style" in general. 

The Lord used you all to bring me back to some basic Truths that He's been walking me towards for a while now, but I keep straying because of the distractions that are brought on by my fears and worries.

I am SO thankful for His faithfulness and steadfastness in reassuring me and showing me the way even when I get myself lost time after time!


What He's been speaking to me, actually started this summer while I was home alone, vacuuming the house.  The Lord brought me specific direction for this school year... to study the 9 fruits of the Spirit found in Galatians 5 by focusing on one "fruit" each month.

At that time, I took some mental notes and thought of some ways to incorporate that into my already planned out schedule...


But a few weeks later, when we found out we were pregnant, the doubts and worries, about homeschooling at all, started.  How can I home-school with so many distractions (the little kids, the morning sickness, etc)?  Will anything get accomplished this year?


The Lord spoke to me again by encouraging me to daily do what "school" I can, but focus mainly on the fruits of His  Spirit.  I was freshly excited about having my kids with me all day so that we can discuss minute by minute how to practice and live out each fruit we learn about--even if it's being taught from the living room couch!

So I did some specicif planning and decided to make the Fruits of the Spirit our main focus...

But as my morning sickness got worse and worse, the uncertainties crept back in yet again (thus, my last post).  I could hardly keep up with anything around the house and I was loosing my vision in all my doubting.  This was just not how I pictured it...I was so disappointed in myself and in my inability to "push through" and accomplish "by the books" education each day, let alone the extra effort I wanted to put into creatively presenting the Fruits of the Spirit to my kiddos.


But this weekend, He reeled me in once more and spoke to me about centering our home on the fruits of His Spirit.  (I'm SO thankful He hadn't given up on my by this point!)  I have now seen more than just His desire for my days, I have seen His vision for my days!  I am still feeling sick and tired, but I'm now full of joy and thankfulness that He was faithful to teach me and re-teach me about HIS will for this school year!

It will probably be lacking cute activities and colorful handouts for a while, but it will be rich with scripture and Truth from our own experiences in our home.


So as I look again into the first fruit of the Spirit (love) I am reminded that if I'm loving my kids in the Spirit, none of my efforts will fall short. (see more HERE).

BUT if I push a curriculum on us all, even when I'm sick and even when their hearts are needing something else, and we complete my perfectly planned school year, but I do it without Sprit-filled love, I am nothing but a "clanging symbol" and we "gain nothing" (1 Cor 13).


The Lord has now added to this vision by directing me to teach the boys a hymn each month that corresponds with the fruit we're learning. (Love-"O How I Love Jesus"; Joy-"Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee"; Peace-"Peace Like a River", etc).


As I was finding each "fruit's" hymn in my "Amazing Grace" book, the Lord brought it to mind to take it beyond just the hymn, and talk about the author of the hymn, the story behind the hymn and anything else I can find!


So suddenly, my mission to teach about the fruit of the Spirit turned from "just" a spiritual lesson to now include, music and history!


Then yesterday a friend who is getting rid of some books, had set aside a stack for me to look through...and there in the midst of the books was this one:

I was so blessed by the Lord's purposeful ways to get my attention and say, "You're doing well...keep it up...and here's a little extra help..."


Now, on days I feel well, we are still following the plan to complete the original plan ("My Fathers World Kindergarten" for Trusten and "Handwriting Without Tears" for Brahm).  Thankfully though, they already know beyond what is being expected of their ages, so skipping a day here and there in our week hasn't slowed down our pace yet!


My goal right now in our homeschooling isn't my daily planner anymore (Praise God!) it's in teaching and practicing loving my boys in and by the Spirit...


And when I begin to doubt myself, I'm disciplining myself to give thanks for realizing how I was making it about me, and freshly turn my eyes to the Lord for help!


God is so faithful to quiet our storms (even the storms WE create), quiet our doubts and come to our aide...He loves to help His children!

Loving My Children In the Spirit

Lately I've been convicted about how pron I am to love my children in the flesh--not in the Spirit.

Don't get me wrong, my fleshly love is abundant and rich, but it is also full of flaws and selfishness.

Since I've decided to go through the fruits of the Spirit with my kids this year...we are looking at LOVE this month.  I have personally been SO challenged by 1 Corinthians 13, as it takes on a whole new light as I apply it to my mothering.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When loving from the flesh, I often rejoice when my kids do things in my perfect timing and by my most ideal standards.  But when they fall short of this,  Patience is greatly lacking.

I'm also loving them in the flesh when I flaunt their academic successes because it makes me look better to those watching from the outside.  It is not true, Spirit-filled love when  Pride and Boastfulness motivate me to brag on their accomplishments.

I love them in the flesh when I look with Envy upon what other moms are doing and attempt to replicate that in my home not for their well-being, but just in hopes that I will be a "better mom" like so-and-so.  

I am often Easily Angered and Rude when I have an agenda and my kids slow me down.  I usually scold them saying how "momma loves you, but..." and then gripe about how long they are taking and how late this is going to make momma.  But Spirit-filled love is always Kind.

I am loving them in the flesh when I want to get away from it all and use the excuse that "I need a break so I can be a better mommy".  Love is never Self-Seeking.

Loving them in the flesh happens when I am trying to teach them a lesson, and though I have forgiven a wrong of theirs, I bring it up by saying "You always..." because Spirit-filled love Keeps No Record Of Wrongs.

Because I know that Christ-like love does Not Delight in Evil, when they do something "cute" yet sinful (like the first dramatic display of passion~ also known as a tantrum), I am loving them in the flesh when I giggle or simply do not address it.

Or when I let them be entertained by worldly things that blatantly contradict the Truth found in scripture, I am not loving them in the Spirit because love Rejoices with the Truth.

Thankfully, when it comes to loving my children in the Spirit, the rest does come a little more naturally to me although there is some fleshly, "momma bear" tendencies that tend to take over from time to time...

"Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails."

(1 Corinthians 13)

Lord, help me to love these kids, YOUR kids, 

in the Spirit...not in my weak, self-centered flesh because by your Spirit, I am a better momma and a better steward.

Let the Little Children Come To Me...

"We were holding back our son's child-like faith, because of our adult-like doubt"

Just over a year ago, our oldest son asked Jesus into his life to be Lord of all. 

It was such an exciting day!  We rejoiced at this new work the Lord was doing in our son's heart and we knew that this was just the beginning of our son growing in knowledge and understanding of sanctification and justification.

At that time we talked to him about the importance of baptism once you make that commitment because baptism is a way to say to the Lord, the enemy and the church that, "I belong to Jesus!  He is my Lord and Savior!"

However, to be honest, Ryan and I's desire was that Trusten wait until he was older and had a fuller understanding of the cross and the gospel (even baptism) before he took that next step.

Well, this week at our church, there was to be a baptism service and Trusten caught wind of it.

One night during family worship he said, "maybe I should be baptized".

We said something along the lines of "sure, someday buddy, when you're a little older..."

But over the next few days he just wouldn't let it go. He wanted to be baptized.  He knew it was the next step of obeidence and he wanted to obey.

Ryan and I were hesitant, but then the Lord spoke to both of us the night of the service and said, "Permit the children to come to Me; do not hinder them; for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these." (Mark 10:14).We realized we were holding back our son's child-like faith because of our adult-like doubt.

So that very night, Wednesday, August 4th, Trusten was baptized with water and took a step of faith into being a disciple of the Lord Jesus!

Getting ready to be "dunked", Ryan said, "I baptize you, my son and my brother, in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit"

Right after he came out of the water he said, "I DID IT!"

He knew he had been obedient to the Lord's calling!

There is no explaining the sheer joy Trusten had after service...

It wasn't hyperness, it wasn't a sugar-rush, it was the work of the Spirit!

Thankful for our Trusten...and that in the end, we didn't get in the way of his response to the Lord's call to come to Him and be baptized.

We fell asleep that night asking ourselves,

"Why is it that we tell adults all the time to have child-like faith, but when a child has child-like faith, we try to 'reason' them out of it?"

This post is linked to Wednesday's Walk at my friend, Jenilee's blog!

The Conference (Vacation Part 3)

If you haven't heard of Answers In Genesis, it's an amazing ministry devoted to proving creation and "reclaiming the foundations of our faith which are found in the Bible, from the very first verse".

Two years ago we (my sister Sarah's family and our family) went to our first "AIG" conference in Branson Missouri...Vision Forum was there along with Voddie Baucham.  It was a powerful week!

This year, many of the same families were back and it was so good to see so many familiar faces and catch up with a few friends that Sarah and I had made 2 years ago...

I even got to meet a "MOMYS" from my "QuiverFull" on-line group!  I've now met 5 MOMYS in real life, and it's always a special treat!

Including catching up with old friends, seeing how our families have grown, hearing the Word procliamed so boldy and sitting under some amazing teaching...it was a great conference!  We were encouraged, spurred on, reminded, blessed and challanged.

I love how you can go to a conference like this one, on "Defending the Faith" and get so much more out of it than just your "normal every-day preaching".  We left there even more grounded in our beliefs of homeschooling, freshly encouraged to trust God for our family size and burdened to pray even more for our nation and reach out to our lost neighbors!

Overall, with our family usually being the "odd men out" on homeschooling and desiring a big family, it was just SO good to see and hear that we're NOT alone and to be taught from the Bible on those issues!

We took our kids to the conference (everyone did--it was a family conference after all) and although the first day was a little rough (after such a looong car-ride they were restless!), they got used to it and by the second day, they were doing great and were excellent the rest of the week!

Brahm and Liberty proud of their new name tags!

We packed backpacks for each of them filled with books, a Bible, coloring books, pens, paper, matchbox cars and fruit snacks!  That kept them busy :)

Unloading the vans at the conference and getting ready to go in...

(See in the second pic how the sliding door to our van is open?  Yep...it stayed that way the whole night-we didn't know until we came back out to our vans!  Yikes! But praise the Lord nothing was stolen!)

During the sessions, it helped my children to observe the behavior of other kids their age.  There were several Amish families there and those kids are so sweet!  They sat so properly just listening the whole time with an occasional song or giggle escaping from pure joy.  Their parents would sweetly pat their leg with a smile and I heard one Amish mother say, "There is a time for everything...we'll run outside after a bit".

The Langhofer crew

(We sat in the VERY back every time...we weren't brave enough to sit in the front with all the kiddos!)

Our crew waiting to hear Voddie speak...

The first night we heard both a "State Of The Church" and "State of the Nation" sermon by Ken Ham. 

Other than that, we didn't try to make it to every session, every day...instead, we just went to hear Voddie!!!

He did his usual thing...talked about Biblical womanhood, manhood, the responsibilities of fathers in the home, the call to wives, legacy...  And he also talked about why Christians should be having more babies, about adoption, about homeschooling, etc.

Then there was Tuesday!  Tuesday was a day filled with sessions just for women.  Biblical womanhood, godly parenting, building a "one flesh" marriage...so my sister and I spent most of the day together!  We had such wonderful, uplifting coversations and just enjoyed our quiet time together!  I love my sisters--they are my best friends and role models FOR SURE! (along with my momma of course!)

Sarah and I getting ready to leave for our first "women only" session

(She's 4 years older than me, but I'm about 4 inches taller!)

My niece (and my name-sake) Isabelle Grace came with Sarah and I for the night session.

Favorite quotes from the conference:
"Once you question Genesis-and the earth being created in 6 literal days-you open up doors for ALL the Holy Scriptures to be questioned.  Genesis is our beginning...and it is literal."

"In Genesis 3:15 we read that as a result of  'the fall' there is now an enmity between woman and serpent, her offspring and his...he wants women to dread their body changing with pregnancy, he wants to scare them with the dreaded pain of childbirth...he doesn't want you to have any more babies.
Satan hates women...especially Christian women.  He hates them because of the enmity and because they bring about children that will one day praise and serve the Lord Almighty."

(Talking of careers and laziness among American boys) "Instead of teaching young men to 'find something they love and do it', teach them to 'find something to do and love it'...it's not about us!"

"The ONLY hope for victory for our nation is NOT in legislation, clever bumper stickers, letters to congressmen, it is in our Promised Redeemer-Christ our Savior."

"Abortion isn't just about life, it's about feminism."
"Today men are defined by 1-the ball field, 2-the bill fold, 3-the bedroom, and that's what our little girls are taught to desire in a partner."

"Reading self-help books is like football players taking instruction from cheerleaders.  You may feel pepped up, but for real, solid instruction, they need to listen the coach.  For us as Christians, our coach has left us a playbook...the Holy Bible.  It's all we need."

"Genesis 3:15-the two things that should bring us the most pleasure, were made to be the heaviest burdens of womanhood.  But loathe these things, instead seek the pleasure in childbirth and having our husband as our head and you will be BLESSED."

"Parents say their kids walk away from the Lord in college, but 87% of children have their first doubts about God when they are in Middle School, so we see they lost them long before college--they just didn't know it because they were already away at school."

"Your children are watching you, how you dress, what you say, even mannerisms...so live up the holiness God called us to--they are His kids after all.  Ask what He wants modeled for them?"

"When Adam and Eve sinned, they covered their private parts, but when God found them, he gave them a more sufficient covering made from animal skin.  Sisters, covering your private parts isn't enough for the Lord...he wants you clothed in righteousness, holiness and therefore, in modesty."

First blog post: The Beginning of Our Vacation...Part 1
Second blog post: Life at the Cabin: 14 people Living Together For a Week (Part 2)
Next blog post: Out and About in the City ~A CRAZY, Busy, Fun day!
Then: A Breath-taking Smokey Mountain Hike
Then: The Creation Museum
And finally: The Saddest Day--Heading Home (and another hotel adventure!)

Growing Weary of the Internet

I haven't updated in a long time, I know!  I miss my bloggy world, but at the same time, I don't miss the time I've had to do other things.

Honestly, I have a lot of thing on my mind that I'd love to blog about, but just don't have the desire to sit at my computer and hash them all out...

I'd love to blog about legalism...
-How I'm growing to hate that word...
-How I think it gets thrown around WAY too much...
-How sorely misused it is...
-How that word has made many of my friends turn conviction into excuses (ex: "I felt like the Lord was telling me to not XYZ anymore, but so-and-so said to not become legalisic about it, so I'll just be more careful instead of cutting it out all-together"--thus they still have footholds in their lives)
-How bitter it sounds when people use it in judging others...
(*Don't get me wrong, I know there is a real thing as "legalism".  It is hurtful and destructive...I don't want to down-play that!  But, almost every time I've seen it mentioned in the past few years, it has been used loosely and wrongly.)

I'd love to blog about my first upcoming year of homeschooling...
-Why we homeschool...
-Why it's not legalistic (see above) to homeschool...
-What the Bible says about education...
-What we're using for curriculum this year...
-Why I couldn't care less about socialization...
-Why our decision to homeschool will not "ruin" our children...
-What my schoolroom contains and look like...
-Why I don't think you're wrong if you don't homeschool...
-Why I can't buy into the excuse "they're having a hard time being away from home, but it's good for them...".

I'd love to blog about my growing desire for more children...
-Why my children bless me...
-Why trusting God with my womb is not legalistic (see above)...
-Why I don't ever want to let my selfishness get in the way of the Lord's will...
-Why I *thought* I wanted a "break"...
-How I'm learning that sometimes God wants more children (for Himself) and I may be His means to accomplish that desire...
-How I delight in my duty and call to "trust the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding"...
-How my body was "bought at a price" and how bearing children is honoring to Him...

So, I may get around to these posts someday...but for now, I really am growing weary of the internet...sometimes the Lord uses it to encourage me...but lately (as you can tell from the three examples above) it's been causing me to grow weary...

Though at the same time, it's also causing my eyes to be opened, challenging my mind to become sharper, and deepening my convictions through the Word!

Quiet Times: With My Kids, For My Kids

In my last post, I talked about how after the kids and I have finished breakfast and our morning chores, we gather in the living room for "Devotions".

This is one of my favorite parts of our mornings and I wanted to share it...

Each boy picks out a Bible (we have a shelf with a wide range of Children's Bibles...keep your eye out for them at garage sales and start collecting!) and they pick a spot on the couch.

I turn on worship music and we sit in silence while we "read" our Bibles.

Most mornings we start out this time, by each of us simply praying out loud, one-by-one, "Jesus, speak to me."  There is NOTHING more precious to me than hearing this phrase come from the mouth of my little boys each morning!

By teaching my boys this habit, my prayer is that they will not only grow used to listening for the Lord, but that they will learn how to recognize His voice.  And every once in a while, my  heart is SO blessed when a boy (usually my 5 year old) will say afterwards, "Momma!  Jesus said __________ to me!"  It's almost always one of the 10 commandments or just "I love you"...THOSE are amazing moments for them and me!!!

Since Trusten is the only one even close to reading, this time of "Devotions" mainly means they look at the pictures and as they see a familiar lesson, they reflect on what they've heard in the past.

And for me, this is a perfect opportunity to get my Bible reading in!  I usually only get one chapter read, but it's often just what I need to lift my gaze and keep me in step with the Spirit!

We end our Devotion time with the boys gathering around to pray.  Usually each boy picks someone or something they want to pray for, but we always pray for our daddy.

I know that I'll remember these precious, group morning devotions forever!  Looking around the room and seeing my boys quietly studying their Bibles is a humbling sight for me!  Then to hear them as their prayers grow and mature is such a blessing to my heart!

This post is linked to Momentous Monday hosted by my friend Tiffany(...check out her blog, they are soon adopting from Ethiopia!)
and it's also linked to...

"Not The Mothers Day I Was Expecting It To Be" (and MckLinky Monday)

I'll be honest...this Mothers Day has been a hard one for me.  I was not prepared for it...and even though I knew it was Mothers Day, I was kinda taken off guard by it.  In fact, I cried most of the morning...and not tears of joy...

My sweet husband let me sleep in, so I awoke to some VERY happy boys who had been waiting for me all morning long!

As I walked out of my bedroom, they all chimed "Happy Mothers Time Day" in rounds (still used to saying "Happy Valen-Times Day!") and greeted me with big hugs.  My heart was overjoyed!

Then I see a HUGE box sitting on our front room "coffee table" (an old chest we keep our board games in).  Again, my heart was overjoyed to see that my boys (and Liberty!) had bought me a brand new, fancy set of cookware!!!  Pots, pans, skillets...my dream come true!!!  I have been wanting a new set for a while, but haven't said anything because I know how expensive these can be!

But my hubby (have I mentioned he's the best in the world?) had noticed (see I told you he was the best!) that I needed new cookware, so he took the initiative to buy me an entire 12 piece, commercial grade set!  Wanna know my favorite thing about this gift?  They range in size from small to HUGE (so bring on the big family, Lord!!!)

Then came the best part...the hardest part... My hubby handed me a DVD with "Happy Mothers Day 2010" written on it.  We popped it in the DVD player and it was a video card!

My hubby had taped each one of the boys telling me Happy Mothers Day, what they love about me, what they like to do with me, their favorite thing about me, etc. etc.  Trusten even sang a song he wrote for me!

I bawled...seriously, bawled.  Now, if you know me, you know I cry easily...but rarely do I full-out bawl.

As I watched the amazing video he put together (with an amazing Chopin piece as the background music) I felt so completely and utterly unworthy.  It was not a good feeling.  Then the video ended with Proverbs 31:28-31...If it hadn't been for my boys (who were so thrilled to finally show me their video card) I probably would have run out of the room crying, "no, this is too much...really TOO much."  

I wasn't being modest...nor am I trying to be now, I just honestly could not handle all that they were saying.

This morning as they showered me with love and compliments, I was so very aware of all my short-comings.  I felt like a hypocrite as I watched my children talk about how and why they love me.

"I don't deserve this love!", I thought.  "How can they love me so freely when I lose my temper so often?"  "These kids deserve a mom who doesn't put herself first and grumble when things don't go her way"  The thoughts went on and on.

As the video ended, my kids ran into the dining room for what else, but DONUTS!  (My favorite!)  I walked into the kitchen with my hubby and as he hugged me, I cried some more.  He asked about my tears...knowing they were different than tears of joy.  

I explained to him that I felt unworthy and that I just know I have SO much to work on.  He just hugged me and told me I didn't have to feel worthy of it...that they just loved me...and that none of us should ever feel worthy...but that we should always be desiring to be more than we currently are.

I said "okay", smiled and headed to the dining room, but was still in turmoil.  Eating the donuts, I thought about his words, and tried to let the Truth sink in.  But I still felt so...so...guilty.  I haven't been being the mom that my boys deserve.

So we finished breakfast, took a quick picture of Liberty and I...

(can you tell my eyes are swollen from crying?)

and headed off to church.

The minute the music began, I started feeling better.  I felt the Lord...He was comforting me and sheltering me.  I knew He wanted to speak to me.  So as I wrestled with Liberty (she was really squirmy this morning!), I waited on Him to speak.

Then we started to sing,

"You amaze me.

You amaze me

and I'm overwhelmed by your great love and mercy.

You amaze me."

And that's when I realized I am nothing without His mercy.  I need it everyday.  I may not be the mom I want to me, but I will never get there without God's mercy.

I am a work in progress.  He has began a good work in me and He will faithfully complete it, but I can't expect to just sit by and watch him complete it.  I need to be actively trying to become what He wants me to be...and NEVER settle.  And that's been the problem...I think I've been settling.  That was the guilt I felt...I think I've been giving myself a few too many pats on the back, buying the lie that I've done "good enough" for the day or the week and I don't need to strive or try any more.

And what a great lie from the enemy!  I mean, what other lie would he want me to believe, than one that can get me to stop striving and to just settle.  He doesn't want me to grow anymore.  He doesn't want my kids to be blessed anymore.  He wants all of it to stop...and, what's more, He hopes to even see me loose some ground.

So more than ever, I need the Lords great mercy!!!  I need His mercy to cover over the areas where I lack...and to help me when I've taken my eyes off of Him.

Lord, you TRULY do amaze me!

Thank you that today, when I was overwhelmed by my weaknesses and by what I don't deserve, You showed me your love and mercy.  

Thank you that you reminded me to be "overhelmed" by you...and not myself.  

I need your mercy to help me take my eyes off my victories and my defeats, my accomplishments and my guilt.  

Help me, Lord, to seek your mercies in my mothering...I need you Lord so that I never feel "worthy"...but always be striving, reaching, growing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After church we went out to lunch, then came home to take some more pictures...

We ended up having a WONDERFUL day!  I truly am a blessed Momma!

My favorite quote of the day was Trusten when he said,

"Momma I love you too much to love you just a little bit"

And the day's not over yet!  Once the boys wake up from naps, we're having a cookout and spending the evening outside, playing!

Editing to add: My Mothers Day just got even better!  I won a giveaway over at my friend Jill's blog!  I think I'm gonna choose the framed hymn with cross!  So excited!

This post is also linked to: Momentous Monday and Mom and Me Monday

Now it's YOUR TURN!!!  Link up YOUR Mothers Day post below...(and be sure to visit the others who linked up their posts!  It's a great way to get to know some new bloggin' friends!)